Originally posted July 14, 2010 on my NaitoOfNarnia.Xanga.com account. Reposted with minor edits/additions.

All of these are original Chuck Norris Legend jokes…as far as I know. I made these up on the spot.
ENJOY!
Which ones do you like the best?

1) Daddies with beautiful daughters no longer need shotguns when boys come a-calling. A picture of Chuck Norris on the front door with a note saying, “Chuck lives here,” now suffices.

2) The DNA of Chuck Norris is tough. Bad guys are scared of his unborn great-great-great-great grandkids.

3) Chuck Norris is an ideal missionary for God. He can scare the Hell outta people.

4) If God ever needed a bodyguard, He would call on Chuck Norris. Had Nick Fury called on Chuck Norris instead, the Avengers movie would have lasted five minutes.

5) Chuck Norris doesn’t need to be present to send fear into the hearts of bad guys. He sends a personally autographed post card while on vacation instead.

6) A battle between Chuck Norris and his clone would result in a never-ending battle.

7) Chuck Norris use sandpaper to shave.

8) Tornadoes and hurricanes start with a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

9) Chuck Norris is best friends with Thor, Hulk, and Hercules.

10) The thought of Chuck Norris makes lions and tigers and bears lay eggs. Oh my.  Continue reading →